Beth must be supervised at meal times due to her constant refusal to eat.
So, this clip is the first insight into the series through this little ‘teaser’ clip.
Is this realistic? yup, I saw scenes extremely similar, reguarly throughout my stay. The refusals, bargaining, arguments about calories, even the fruit drink (Ensure I believe it was called) which I can actually still smell to this day even though it wasn’t me eating it.
The leg shaking, man, I still do this now when I get stressed, I think a lot of people do it, but in the unit I think it gets a bit worse, it’s an outward way of expressing the anxiety and feelings in a semi-socially accepted way. A place like this becomes your home after a while, a place where you can be yourself and act yourself, a safe place, so you feel as though you can express yourself in these little ways.
This fact, this memory, is what has made me feel a little uncomfortable in this clip. Looking in from the outside, you see this poor girl having a bad time, stressed, frustrated, and expressing behaviour, such as extreme leg shaking. Even though to us she is ‘in public’ she is actually in a private place, expressing private behaviour.
It made me uncomfortable to watch someone in this distressed state, I somewhat felt like a voyeur. Even whilst in hospital I did not sit and stare at someone in this state, watch them eat, cry or whatever, yet here I am, behind the veil of television. Staring.
I both leg shake and rock myself sometimes, in private, and very few close people have seen me in similar states. People who understand that rocking/shaking/whatnot is not a sign of ‘madness’ or ‘being crazy’ but more a habit, or an expression of anxiety - my concern is, are people going to judge this girl? Are people going to look at this and avoid her on the street?
I do not keep my hospital stay hidden, and most people treat me no different once they find out. However is this because I ‘act normal’ now or that they have never seen me ‘act strage’ or in an unwell state. If they had access to a clip or me which showed me shaking my legs, refusing carrots or whatnot, would I be treated differently in the future?
So many questions I cannot answer, particuarly at this early stage of the show, how will these teenagers be portrayed? I’ll have my next update tommorow :)