Dremel + pumpkin + torch = Hooty McPumpkinFace presents SCREAM FACTORY REDCAR :D
http://screamfactory.co.uk

Dremel + pumpkin + torch = Hooty McPumpkinFace presents SCREAM FACTORY REDCAR :D

http://screamfactory.co.uk

thewolfisrunning asked: Hi, I'd just like to say that your Don't Call Me Crazy reviews are really nice, I was in there when they were filming and Beth is a good friend of mine, and I'm glad you can relate to it! :)

Awesome! I hope you’re doing well and you like m reviews so far :D zan x

TRIGGER WARNING (eating disorders) BBC Three - Don't Call Me Crazy, Episode 1, Beth: Supervision at Meal Times

So, this clip is the first insight into the series through this little ‘teaser’ clip.

Is this realistic? yup, I saw scenes extremely similar, reguarly throughout my stay. The refusals, bargaining, arguments about calories, even the fruit drink (Ensure I believe it was called) which I can actually still smell to this day even though it wasn’t me eating it.

The leg shaking, man, I still do this now when I get stressed, I think a lot of people do it, but in the unit I think it gets a bit worse, it’s an outward way of expressing the anxiety and feelings in a semi-socially accepted way. A place like this becomes your home after a while, a place where you can be yourself and act yourself, a safe place, so you feel as though you can express yourself in these little ways.


This fact, this memory, is what has made me feel a little uncomfortable in this clip. Looking in from the outside, you see this poor girl having a bad time, stressed, frustrated, and expressing behaviour, such as extreme leg shaking. Even though to us she is ‘in public’ she is actually in a private place, expressing private behaviour.

It made me uncomfortable to watch someone in this distressed state, I somewhat felt like a voyeur. Even whilst in hospital I did not sit and stare at someone in this state, watch them eat, cry or whatever, yet here I am, behind the veil of television. Staring.

I both leg shake and rock myself sometimes, in private, and very few close people have seen me in similar states. People who understand that rocking/shaking/whatnot is not a sign of ‘madness’ or ‘being crazy’ but more a habit, or an expression of anxiety - my concern is, are people going to judge this girl? Are people going to look at this and avoid her on the street?


I do not keep my hospital stay hidden, and most people treat me no different once they find out. However is this because I ‘act normal’ now or that they have never seen me ‘act strage’ or in an unwell state. If they had access to a clip or me which showed me shaking my legs, refusing carrots or whatnot, would I be treated differently in the future?

So many questions I cannot answer, particuarly at this early stage of the show, how will these teenagers be portrayed? I’ll have my next update tommorow :)

Zan xx

BBC Three - Don't Call Me Crazy, Trail: Don't Call Me Crazy

OK, so as soon as I saw the trailer for this programme I knew I’d have to watch it.

Even though the TV was on mute and I was on the phone at the time, from the first second of the trail I knew what this programme was about, because I’ve been there (well not actually there, but in a different CAMHS unit).


After writing about this on facebook, a few of my friends commented on this programme, wondering if it would show a true portrayal of life on the unit, or whether it would sensationalize the problems of these young people.

I decided to blog about each episode and compare it with my experiences in a similar setting.

So expect a few posts, some general rambling, but please remember these are only my opinions and experiences :)

zan x

you cut me off the staff photo because i wouldn’t jump at a wall with a pen (2011)

sam and me

mixed media performance, including dog biscuits, pets at home uniform, ribbon.

A collabaration with Sam Le Bop Foxall-Fitzharris the dog


A reaction to being demoted at work following an incident at a team building day and having my Manager cut me from the staff photo when it was published. This piece represents both having my confidence stripped away and the positive effects of moving on/away from my job.

I deconstructed my uniform and then reconstructed it using ribbons with dog biscuits tied to the ends. The intention being that as the dog took the biscuits, the ribbons would be pulled out and my outfit would fall away piece by piece.

During the performance the dog quickly became bored with this game and it became a dynamic between me trying to tempt/play with the dog using the biscuits on the ribbons that I had pulled off myself. Although this changed the piece, I do not feel that it made the piece less relevant.

As the clothing fell away, it revealed a message written on my underclothes, the title of the piece ‘you cut me off the staff photo because i wouldn’t jump at a wall with a pen’

Afterwards I spent time playing with the dog using the uniform/biscuits and ribbons.

I have no idea why I drew this (2011)

I have no idea why I drew this (2011)

'use your fooking eyes'  (2011)

'use your fooking eyes'  (2011)

ORNAMENT IS MORE IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE THAN ART

mima

The Day My Heart Grew Bigger (detail) ongoing

A little sneak-peek at some work in progress which I presented in the Shaun Project Space (STITCHUP - I posted the link to the sps blog earlier)

As for the rest - you’ll have to stay tuned ;)

Charity Shop Art (2010)
£30

Charity Shop Art (2010)

£30

NURSERY BLOCK A (2010)

REPORT BY ZAN VAN BOGGELEN

IN THE ASHBURNE FACILITY, NURSERY BLOCK A IS ENTIRELY DEDICATED TO THE STUDY OF A SINGLE FEMALE SPECIMEN, WHO HAS BEEN IN CAPTIVITY SINCE HER BIRTH IN 1987.

THIS SPECIMEN IS THE RESULT OF THE OFFSRING OF A MALE SQUID (SCIENTIFIC NAME: ARCHITEUTHIS DUX) AND FEMALE, HUMAN OFFSPRING. SHE IS THE ONLY SURVIVNG HYBRID, DESPITE AN INFLUX OF SPECIMENS FROM AROUND THE SAME ERA.

THE SPECIMEN WAS CONCIEVED AFTER THE MOTHER WAS INSPIRED BY THE EROTIC, FISH THEMED WORKS OF THE ARTIST PICASSO, WHO IN TURN WAS INSPIRED BY THE WORK KINOE NO KOMATSU BY KATSUSHIKA HOKUSAI, TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A GIANT SQUID, SHE DIED FROM THE TRAUMA OF THE MULTIPLE BIRTHS.

THE OFFSPRING WAS UNEXPECTED AND A TRUE HYBRID OF THE TWO SPECIES, NUMEROUS IN NUMBER THE OFFSPRING QUICKLY DECLINED, WITH ONLY THREE MAKING IT PAST THEIR FIRST YEAR AND THIS ONE SPECIMEN SURVIVING TO ADOLESCENCE. THE SPECIMENS AGE AT THIS TIME IS 22.

SINCE THE HYBRIDS WAS OBVIOUSLY A FREAK AND UNNATURAL OCCURANCE IT WAS DEEMED PRUDENT TO STUDY AND EXPERIMENT UPON THEM, TO DISCERN HOW THIS JOININH OF SPECIES HAD COME ABOUT AND LEARN MORE ABOUT BOTH SQUID AND HUMAN GENETICS.

UPON REACHING SEXUAL MATURITY THE SPECIMEN HAS BEEN REPEATEDLY INSEMINATED BY A VARIETY OF METHODS IN ORDER TO FURTHUR STUDY THE GENETIC IMPLICATIONS OF THE HYBRID. THE RESULTS CAN BE SEEN HERE IN THE LAB AND ARE CURRENTLY BEING STUDIED BOTH HERE AND ELSEWHERE.

THE SPECIMEN IS ON A CONSTANT CYCLE OF INSEMINATION AND BIRTH, AND THE OFFSPRING ARE FIRST GROWN IN LAB A BEFORE BEING MOVED ONTO SEPARATE FACILITIES TO CONTINUE THEIR GROWTH AND STUDY.

STITCHUP

I recently presented some of my work in progress as part of SPS Presents : STITCHUP with Nancy Castrogiovanni and Poppy Hetherington.

Anonymous asked: hi Zan- just how do you always look so gorgeous??
DizzyBird

a diet of cake, glitter, smirnoff ice and love :)

Slideshow of images from ‘Zan the Musical’ (2009)

Soundscape from ‘Zan the Musical’ performance piece (2009)

"Based on my experiences of being in hospital and my childhood memories, this soundscape contains remembered musical exerpts played on the flute and recorder, manipulated clips of meaningful songs, sung by me and diary exerpts from personal diaries kept in times of crisis. The soundscape was designed to accompany a performance art/burlesque performance"